He decided that he was never going back there again.
Jack walked into a church.
It sounds like the beginning of a joke that a bunch of guys would tell at a bar during happy hour.
The other problem with this story is that it wasn't any particular church, but pretty much any church in the United States. Jack went in there with unkempt, messy hair, two inch gauges and tattoos. He may have bought his worn out t-shirt at Hot Topic, or at a thrift store, he wasn't sure. He was the kind of guy who read Keats and listened to Ramstein in his spare time. But lately, he had been feeling a little bummed out because his grandpa had just died, and he was wondering where gramps ended up, and if he could maybe see him again. He had a lot of questions, and church just seemed like a good place to start. He never really planned on going to church that morning, in fact, he was originally headed to the store to pick up a few things, but he happened to see a lot of cars there that day and thought he would sneak a peek into a local church to see why all those people went there every Sunday when they could be sleeping in or drinking Heineken and watching figure skating like he did every week.
He really just had a few questions for the Pastor. His parents hadn't raised him in church. They wanted him to make up his own mind some day. He hadn't exactly gotten around to doing that yet. Every time he wanted to go to church, some cool new band like The Creepshow would come to town, and he'd be out all night with his friends, and too hungover the next day to get up in time to make even an 11:00 service.
I mean, let's be realistic.
Nobody spoke to Jack that day. Ladies pulled their children closer to them, wide eyed like so many deer at the sight of him. Men in suits who he thought seemed as stiff as mannequins, scowled at him in disapproval. One elderly lady just sat there and stared at him the whole time.
"I think I just landed on another planet", thought Jack.
He didn't stay long, because it only took him a couple of minutes to tell that he wasn't welcome.
Within less than fifteen minutes, after listening to what sounded like some of his mom's love songs that had been rewritten with different lyrics, and enough stares to make him wish he had brought his fedora so that he could turn it upside down and ask for change since this was obviously some sort of freak show, Jack unceremoniously slung his messenger bag over his shoulder and left.
Not only did he never go back to that church, but he never went back to any church - ever again.
The Pastor continued his sermon like nothing had happened. In his mind, he considered the fact that there were so many things about that young man that God wasn't pleased with. He was certain that his church had so many friendly people and great programs, that the young man would be back. And when he did come back, he fully planned on having a serious talk with him about his image.
After all - God isn't pleased with artistic people....or is He?
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